Take One
Posted by mike on July 1, 2008
My worst experience in acting was doing a take 20+ on a line so simple, I swear I thought I was autistic. Even curing it in the dubbing room didn’t help much. In the beginning it was hilarious how someone can twist the words helplessly. Everyone was laughing their bellys inside out. After a while it had become so infuriating, some people left the dubbing room altogether. How different could it have been if all I was allowed was a take one? The line? Dalhin niyo dito si tisoy. I would go “dalhin niyo dito sisitoy”. How retard can that be?
That’s not what kept me from pursuing a career in acting. It was the waiting time. The endless hours of preparation for a minute shoot. In one instance, we had to wait all day for the set up, only to be aborted and no shoot. The saying in the industry is…actors are paid to wait.
Picking up from a previous entry, the generation and culture I’m surrounded with is so obsessed with life on the fast lane made convenient by microwave meals, instant coffee and noodles, fast foods, disposable products and…even relationships seem to fall into this category.
Youth can be a very impatient time where one year seems like forever and anything beyond that looks like eternity. Psychologists seem to agree that teenagers and young adults can’t seem to plan 5 years down the road. They simply want things NOW!
Looking back at the relationships I’ve had from friendships to intimate pairings along with the joys and heartbreaks that come with it, anything short of slow cooking over glowing coal was a recipe for disaster. Take a look at a person who goes from one friend or relationship to another, each time going to the deep end too fast, too soon and upon finding out it doesn’t work out, chokes and gets out. Sure the experience matters but that is all rationalization after the fact, to soothe the devastating effects of abandonment, rejection, pain and failure.
I’ve likened relationships to the the planets in our solar system where except for earth, the rest either came too close or stayed too far from the sun to make them uninhabitable. We need to know how close or distant we need to be from another person in order to live harmoniously with them. Get too close and we burn, stay too far and we freeze.
It would help to take relationships one step at a time. Start with observation, move on to acquaintance, familiarization, assessment and then commitment. It’s like going window shopping before making a purchase with the only money you will ever have. How different would our shopping habits be if we had an endless supply of money compared to a one time purchase? With the former, the ability to do it again and again encourages impulsive and reckless decisions, while the latter encourages making intelligent decisions.
My relationships are a continuing process of positioning myself against others to preserve mental, emotional, spiritual, social and oops…financial health. The proximity is never the same. There are intimate days and aloof ones. It frazzles people around me why I carry on this way.
In my mind, life is a take one. You either blow it or make the best of what you’ve got. I have squandered my time and resources when I was younger. Regrets? Maybe. Lessons? Plenty. Would I go through it again? NO! Would I do things differently? Yes.
The lesson? Relationships is all about growth. Mutual growth. Feed on each other. When it becomes parasitic or one way…cut the cord. If someone into a relationship forces it with someone who is out of it, it becomes toxic and volatile. Relationships have shelf lives and expiration dates. Go beyond its usefulness and it becomes poison. Relationships are prescriptions for one’s growth. Some are meant to be a one shot deal, others long term. A two-second glimpse at the mall or an hour of exceptional conversation may be a shot in the arm and that’s all it may ever be. Don’t press your luck by trying to prolong it. You can OD on a relationship. A lifetime partnership may be what it will take before the high kicks in in an otherwise rocky start. Be patient. It will take all 7 dosages for the meds to work. Anything less is money down the drain. Can you imagine walking out on a relationship when the best is yet to come and missing it altogether because you simply flaked out? To confuse one for the other can be a deadly mistake. Discernment is the key.
If you had only a take one for a relationship, how would you make a decision? If it was short term could you let go when the time is up? If it was long term can you hang on long enough?
What is the gauge when a relationship should be where its at? Ease and Balance. Health >Mental, Emotional, Spiritual and Physical. Things just happen. No need to force it.
Let’s face it. Unless we have the same calling as Jesus , Buddha and the rest, we are here for our own selfish needs…that is…stay alive and grow without having to kill the other person.
Lights…Camera…Aaaaaakshon!
