Rebound
…“What is it that causes some to sail forth into the world with great promise and a strong trajectory, then quit after only one defeat? Unable to rise from their failure, they scale down their dreams and live out their lives in resignation and cautious mediocrity.
On the other hand, what causes some to be capable of endless renewal? Failure seems only to make them more determined to overcome, and when they stumble, they pick themselves up, look around to learn from their mistakes, and then go on to finish the race with distinction.” -Allan Loy McGinnis, Bringing Out the Best in People.
Failure is not the falling down, it is the staying down…-Mary Pickford
“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
It has been a while since I had the kind of courage and excitement I had whenever I moved to a new place, started on a new job or a business venture or even when I decided to raise a family. It is the kind of courage spawned by boredom or realization that I wasn’t going to get any further if I stayed where I was. I had to move on. It is the kind of excitement that a new toy brings that would make me do better and have more fun than the last…a better car that would make me beat my last record.
For the last ten years, I have been looking over people’s shoulders and helping them do better in life, in their careers and businesses. I celebrated at their successes and happiness. I sigh with a few who have remained the same or have gotten worse after all these years. Like a cookie machine, I have watched all kinds of people come and go.
Then one day I looked in the mirror, saw and heard myself speak…”what about you? You have moved people across the finish line, helped them up when they were down, stayed with them until they were ready to move on and made their dreams come true..but you are still where you started. Is that it? Is that what you want to make of this life?”
My then six year old son is now sixteen. My daughter is now a mother of a five year old boy. My eldest is twenty seven. I am ten years older since I started teaching people make something of themselves. Time didn’t stop, I did.
I wake up to realize that my life clock can ring anytime now. That there is more to making sure everyone is ok from day to day. At the end of the day, it is just as important that I have to be ok myself too. After all, even if I remained the do gooder all my life, I would not qualify to be a saint even if I had wanted to.
When people applied for a job or when I had to assess performance, I took a quick look at their academic record, work history and experiences. We talk about how they dealt with triumphs and adversities but more importantly, I take a look at how they are at that very moment and every subsequent moment that we encounter each other. I have seen achievers reduced to helplessness and mediocre types ready to take on the world. I have seen dreamers who have stopped dreaming and cynics that have started to dream. I don’t look at people for what they have been but for what they are. We can only make things happen by being who we are and not who we have been or who we think we are.
The past is nothing but a memory and the future is merely a probability. Now is real. A fraction of a moment in time that becomes past just as quickly as it was present. What we do now matters the most. Now is the stuff that make up memories and it is tomorrow’s foundation for becoming. Now matters. It’s all that matters.
To get to point B one has to know his point A. In moving forward I have learned three things. Know where you are, where you want to go and only entertain things that will get you closer to where you want to be.
It is not a simple as Point A to Point B. We are human beings. We have emotional, physical, spiritual and material needs and each one needs its own peculiar attention and action. We can reach Point B for material needs and leave the rest at Point A. We can be immersed in feelings and forget we have a body to take care of. We pray for salvation but don’t do what needs to be done.
What is getting up and moving on? It is having a pen and paper in hand and start writing.
Normally we begin at Point B. Start with goals and direction. Where do I want to go and what do I need to do to get there. Einstein said it all begins with imagination. The bible says in the beginning was the word and the word was made flesh. Start with a dream and make that dream come true.
Point A. Where am I? What are my assets and liabilities? By taking a hard look at where I am and what I have I will know if I have what it takes in both tangible and intangible assets to reach point B. What do I lack? Where/how can I get it? Do I have attitudes, values, beliefs that constitute liabilities and unwanted baggage that hinder me from moving forward? With what do I replace them with?
For others to begin at Point A is suitable as well because some people like to make lemonade out of lemons. I like to make orange juice even if it means uprooting my lemon tree and replacing it with an orange tree. Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. We metamorphose, transmute, evolve or reinvent ourselves.
We fall, we get up, brush the dirt off and move on….one step at a time until we get there.
